Funny jokes

Two movers are moving a piano to the eighth floor. After just a few steps, one of them moans, “I have something to tell you!”
The other one says, “Say it when we get to the top!”
When he gets to the top, he says, “What were you going to say?”
The other one says, “We’re in the wrong house.”

Two guests are chatting at the bar.
“What do you like doing?”
“Me? I like a fly around.”
“That’s very expensive, isn’t it?”
“Not really, I catch the flies myself.”

Two toothpicks are walking up the mountain. A hedgehog passes by. One toothpick says to the other “Oh, I didn’t realize there was a bus up here.”

Fritz asks the teacher: “Can you actually be punished if you haven’t done anything?”
“Of course not!” he replies.
“Great,” says Fritz, “because I didn’t do my homework!”

 

 

Two mice meet and chat. Suddenly, a bat flies by. One mouse says to the other: “When I grow up, I want be a pilot like him!”

What’s gray, small, has four legs and a suitcase?
– A mouse on a vacation.

A balloon goes to see a psychiatrist. “What’s your problem?” he asks.
The balloon says, “I’m claustrophobic!”

What does an Eskimo teacher say to his students at 15 degrees below zero?
“Two degrees lower and you’ll be able to go home because it’s too hot!”

A mother puts her twins Tim and Tom to bed. One laughs and laughs and the mother asks, “Why are you laughing so much?”
And he says, “You bathed Tom twice and you didn’t bathe me at all!”

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